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Thursday, August 28th, 2008
(comment on this) Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
venivincere
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9:51p
Joshua ran away today
And before I go any further, let me just say that he is home safe now.
He's had a lot of upheaval in his life right now. My brother recently moved back home with my mom because the area he was living in (Flint, MI) is so depressed that he couldn't find any work for months and months. He ended up losing his apartment. He was able to find a job a couple weeks after he moved down here, but I think he realized he never, ever wants to live through that sort of thing again. He's decided to go back to school for nursing -- there's a horrible shortage that's expected to last for the next ten years, at least. He'll be able to write his own ticket.
Couple this with the fact that I got home from vacation to find out my brother got custody of his son (oh my God, thank you so, so much!) just in time for the school year. My nephew R will be going to one of the best schools in the state, and he will only be with his mom (a poisonous, selfish thing) on weekends. But... my mom is getting worn out taking care of two young boys instead of one, so when I get home from work, I have been taking my nephew home with me, too, to feed him dinner and give my mom a break. My brother gets home around 8:30 PM from work, so that's most of the evening he's with us.
Now, one thing you have to understand about Josh is that he's an only kid and he's absolutely fine with that. He likes his alone time (takes after his mom) and social interactions drain him. R, my nephew, is two years younger than Joshie and is not like that at all. He badgers and badgers Josh to play and doesn't take no for an answer, and they either end up fighting until an adult steps in, or Josh has had an out and been able to come home. Today, that wasn't possible. It was the middle of the day, I was at work, the boys were in and out of my mom's house playing, and Josh needed a break. He told R that, R badgered and badgered, and finally, Josh told him "I'm going away and I'm not coming back." And off he took, on his bike, to heaven only knows where, about 1:30 this afternoon. Now, WHY it took my mom three hours to call me, I don't know, and when she did call, she blamed me because she couldn't get hold of him on his phone (I can't afford more minutes until payday) even though Josh has a rule he's supposed to follow, which is "tell where you're going before you go, call when you get there with the phone number so we can reach you if necessary, and call before you come home," which adequately takes care of the "no phone" problem, and is exactly what I had to do as a kid.
And the thing is, I understand why he took off, and I probably would have done the same thing, at his age. And I should try and get him minutes (out of what money, I don't know) BUT. It was still wrong not to tell my mom where he was going and when he would be back. It was still wrong not to ask for her help in getting R off his back! She goes to bat for Josh and certainly would have done so today, but Josh didn't trust that would happen. This is an endemic problem with him; he doesn't trust her to help him out, he doesn't trust me to help him out. He comes up with these horrid scenarios in his head that makes me think he's been reading Dickens, or something, and refuses to believe otherwise, even when we tell him directly. I have to be very careful I don't forget what I say to him because he will remember (and sometimes incorrectly), and I don't want him to feel like he doesn't matter or that he can get away with anything. So, anyway, he took off around 1:30, and at 4:30 my mom decides to call and tell me about it. I called his best friend's mom to see if he'd turned up there or was with her son, and when I heard he wasn't and hadn't, that's when I started to worry. So I left work and got on the bus to come home, and my mom called and said she was getting in the car with nephew R to go look for him. I got my nephew on the phone and had him tell the story in his own words, and then I told him in no uncertain terms, like he's been told before by his father and me, that no means no, and when Josh says to leave him alone for awhile, he has to respect that or he will be punished. It's not OK to push people's buttons, especially when you know what they are and are doing it deliberately.
Mom called back and said she'd searched one neighborhood and did I have any ideas for others? I gave her two others, and off she went. She called back later to say no dice. Now I was really starting to worry; like any town, we have a sprinkling of child sex offenders, and his path to most of his friends' houses goes right by two of them. Of course, that's where my mind went. Just as I'm about to get off the bus, though, I get a call from my friend T who I called earlier to see if Joshie was with her son B. But when I picked up the phone, it was Joshie.
I refrained from yelling on the bus, but told him in no uncertain terms to go straight to grandma's, sit on the couch, and do not move until I get there. And when I did get there, I just stood in front of him, furious, for a couple minutes, trying not to cry. And then I did something I'm not too proud of. I shouted at the top of my lungs "JUST WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING? ...ANSWER ME! WHAT ARE THE RULES? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE RULES ARE?" "yes" "AND YOU DELIBERATELY DISOBEYED THEM???" "yes" "YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH!" and then he started crying. I felt like crying, too, but honestly, I was too angry. "You are grounded through next Wednesday. You will not leave the house for any reason, not even for chores."
I brought Joshie home (sans nephew R -- there wasn't any way I was going to take him tonight), I fed him dinner, and let him spend some time in the absolute quiet stretched out on the couch with his head under a blanket. He eventually came 'round and apologized, and we talked about how he needs to trust grandma out when he's in a bind, and we figured out some strategies he can use to cope with this kind of problem again in the future. My mom called after that to say R was feeling pretty rotten for pushing Josh, and we both agreed that maybe this natural consequence would teach R that he needs to control those urges. I was going to call my brother tonight, but I'm absolutely bushed and Josh has Gokusen S1Ep1 on (I'm trying to get him interested and it looks like he's hooked after half an ep -- yay!) so I'm going to sit with him and hug him to me, and reassure him I love him to bits. Thanks to all of you who Twittered me back with your prayers and good wishes. You're the best. *hugs you all*
current mood:  relieved
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(comment on this) Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
celandineb
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10:04p
AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Okay, in addition to all the things struck out on this list from earlier today, I have also sharpened all my kitchen knives, done a small amount in the garden (mostly deadheading, and watering my few pots), washed mud off the dog, filled out nearly all the auto loan application, and done a little tidying/organizing around the house. I'm going away to read a little more, and then go to bed. *thud*
Tomorrow, the super-long day. Teach two classes, then a lunch meeting, then drive down to Other University for the first meeting of the F2F class. OMG I am insane, aren't I? This is only the 1st/2nd week of the semester!
current mood:  exhausted
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(comment on this) Monday, August 25th, 2008
venivincere
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10:45p
Colossal update forthcoming...
...but not tonight. I have a thousand things I want to tell you all, but if I don't get some sleep, I will not be able to make slides or write our section of the SWOG grant. But in short:
-Vacation was absolutely brilliant and I love ![[info]](http://img.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.gif) cluegirl and aquila_dominuspolished it. I'd take a picture but I broke my camera at Terminus. *cries* Maybe tomorrow with my phone.
-Got assignments for santa_smex and snarry_holidays and I'm totally excited about them for drastically different reasons.
-Really excellently wonderful family news, and bite your tongue I am not pregnant. :-D
-I love all of you.
Night night! *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
current mood:  exhausted
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celandineb
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8:25p
Surviving the day
And geez, if Mondays are tough, Wednesdays are going to really bite - from here till the end of term, I'll be leaving the house at about 6:30 am, and not getting home till probably 8 pm. Yikes. It'll be hard on Juno, too, as SO also goes to campus Wednesdays and will be gone from probably 8-8 or so. At least it's only one day a week that it'll be like that.
Okay, laugh, because I have to set up yet another blog for one of my LIS classes. It's going to be under my real name, even, which is going to be super weird as I'm so used to using pseudonyms in a blog context. It's over on Wordpress, which is probably good since with a different interface I will feel differently about it. Now to go scope out the course website in more detail and snag the syllabus...
It's Monday - so emiime and I posted the next installment (chapter 4) of Better the Instruction this morning. *makes puppydog eyes* Is anyone reading this chapter? I know, it's a long chapter, and the fic as a whole has various things that many people find dubious, but... no comments at all after 9 hours? I'm feeling disappointed, irrational though that may be. *sighs* [/selfpity] Oh, well, here's the link:
- Better the Instruction (4/22) [Remus/Sam, Remus solo, Remus/Teddy, warnings]: Remus is a bit concerned about his fantasies, but the lesson on "hands" goes ahead as planned. Here at IJ, and also here at Emi's.
current mood: crushed
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celandineb
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12:21p
Dreams
Two of them, last night. A few days ago SO was opening the dishwasher to unload it and a juice glass had shattered on the top rack; I dreamed that it happened again. Standard processing/stress dream, I think.
The other was a bit weirder and suggests that fandom is eating my brain, as I dreamed that ![[info]](http://img.greatestjournal.com/syndicated.gif) snegurochka_lee and I were having a conversation about a fic by florahart; the only thing I now recall is that a character in the fic died in the very last line, which sounds rather un-Flora-ish anyhow.
*ponders on the oddities of the brain*
current mood:  full
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(comment on this) Sunday, August 24th, 2008
celandineb
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5:57p
Miscellany
Not doing the usual big cooking today, as we still have leftover soup and my dad is coming Friday so it's going to be more a catch-as-catch can week, food-wise. I did, however, make apple crisp to use the majority of the apples from the co-op (which are organic, plus I dropped them, so there were quite a few bruises and wormholes both). I also made some homemade instant oatmeal for SO (alisanne, here it is!); it's a little warm yet for oatmeal in the morning, but they keep well and we were totally out. I'm contemplating making biscuits to go with the soup; there will also be green salad.
We walked Juno this morning (and man was it gross - probably only about 80-82, but humid, ugh). I did the shopping (four stores) and also got my hair cut. Need to do some reading for class yet tonight (both one I'm teaching and one I'm taking - classes at Other University start tomorrow). And talk with my parental units, too.
current mood:  okay
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leni_jess
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2:27p
End of holiday approaching fast
In fact we're doing nothing today, ( which is a welcome change. )
It will be good to be home, in one place.
It was a wonderful holiday (bar colds and stomach issues and, er, some English B&Bs, which were eminently forgettable but are not yet forgotten). We enjoyed ourselves, and have seen lots, and have loads of photos to edit (and shirts not to wear for six months because I'm sick of them).
One of the really good things was seeing people again: ( and forgive me if I've left out your name! I'm writing this without a diary to fall back on )
But I think next time it might be a shorter trip! Maybe just Azkatraz, and some leisurely running about museum-going and nature-viewing on the west coast.
Our next trip isn’t for a month, and then only down to the NSW coast to see our sister and go to a Don Burrows jazz concert (and the annual arts festival). *sinks slowly into the west, like the sun at glorious Balham*
current mood: relaxed
current music: motel air-conditioning
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celandineb
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9:57a
Addendum
Forgot yesterday to mention that I posted a History Boys ficlet (in case anyone's interested besides the two who I know read it!):
- Roundabouts [Dakin/Irwin, adult]: Their real schooldays were never like this. Here at IJ.
All right, it's nearly 10 and I have tons of things to do. I suppose I should get off my butt and do some of them!
current mood: awake
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(comment on this) Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
celandineb
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10:20p
Whoops
Slept fairly late (9:30) and mostly dinked around online in the morning, then spent most of the afternoon finishing the vest for SO - today was his birthday. So I get everything done, topstitch, get the buttonholes made and the buttons on, wrap it up nicely, all that. We have dinner and then he opens it, likes it very much, decides to wear it as we're taking Juno to the dog park, and I realize - I forgot to sew the buckle onto the belt in back. Oh dear. So, I just finished doing that, and now it really is finished and looks very nice.
Going to go finish some transcriptsion and maybe read a little LIS text. Tomorrow, lots of work to do. Also shopping which I didn't do today. Not much cooking, still have some of last week's soup to finish since we ended up going out for burgers last night; I'll probably do some cooking Tuesday instead. No CSA this week as they had a death in the family, but that's okay as I still have last week's peppers and zucchini, and we got sweet onions and apples from the co-op this week (along with bread, eggs, some ground pork, yogurt, and mustard).
Email appears to be working again, yay!
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(comment on this) Sunday, August 24th, 2008
schtroumph_c
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12:15a
The Shrine
Soooooo, is it just a coincidence, or *adjusts tinhat* does it mean something that ( spoilers )
current mood: The Truth is Out There!
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(comment on this) Friday, August 22nd, 2008
celandineb
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9:47p
I'm going to have a NEW CAR
Not, like, tomorrow or anything, but should be next month sometime. Once it gets here from Japan or South Korea or wherever the thing is actually being manufactured.
YAY. This is it, a 2009 Honda Fit, except it'll be silver.
I test-drove the only one they had at the dealer's (a 2008, not a 2009) tonight. Felt fine to me. Might have considered taking the show model except, well, it was red. I can't fancy myself driving a red car for the next 12 or 15 years. Just not me.
So now we need to do paperwork for a loan from our credit union, 'cause yeah, there'll be a loan. But man will I be jazzed to drive something where I'm not worried that it's going to conk out on me randomly fifty miles from home.
*grinning madly* I've never owned a new car. I've only ever owned two cars in my life, both acquired from my mother. The first was 16 years old and about 150 K miles when it died (in Illinois, while I was in the process of moving to Pennsylvania, no less, a terribly awkward moment). The present one is 14 years old and has 170 K miles. So yeah. I'm excited!
Okay, not so excited about the loan, but even if I really really wanted to I'm doubtful I could keep the present car alive long enough to save completely for the new one. And we do tend to keep our cars for a very long time. So it'll be okay.
current mood: happy
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